Singleness blog - Satisfied.

I’ve written this mini blog series over the past year, sharing an honest glimpse into my experience of singleness. I’ve come to recognise that singleness is a God-given gift and a blessing to the church. At the same time, I’ve wrestled with the pain of an unfulfilled longing for marriage.

What I’ve learned most is that—whether married or single—we are all learning to trust our faithful God with desires and circumstances that are not always easy. And, most importantly, remember that marriage and singleness are both wonderful ways to glorify God. 

I hope this offers a helpful insight for you.

With love, Hannah 

“If only I were married, then I’d be truly satisfied” is a classic example of a “grass is greener on the other side” mindset. It reflects a longing for what we don’t have and a discontentment with what we already do.

I have struggled to be satisfied with my singleness. Marriage has always been presented to me as an end goal. I have lived with an unspoken, unconscious suggestion that to truly make it in life you need to marry, a suggestion that can make single people feel like less of an adult, trapped in a lesser stage of life. 

But this is a lie. Marriage isn’t something you graduate into, marriage is just choosing a different path on the same journey. 

It is also a lie to say that marriage will fully satisfy. Marriage is hard work. Praise God that in the church we often hear about successful marriages, where it appears that getting married truly was the second best decision both husband and wife have ever made. But this doesn't mean that marriage has been easy for them. Marriage has been so good only because the first best decision they ever made was their decision to follow Jesus, and in learning to put Him first, He taught them how to love their spouse well and sacrificially. 

Some people who expect marriage to fully satisfy them, find it doesn’t and can’t meet that expectation.  They get married, discover that it isn’t as simple as ‘happily ever after’, and they may even long for singleness again. We know that marriage can’t possibly be the answer to human dissatisfaction because otherwise divorce rates wouldn’t be so high. 

So how does this help me, longing to find a husband? How does it help a recently divorced person who is wondering where it all went wrong? How does this help the widower grieving the loss of their spouse? 

We turn to God. 

Father, I am longing for something and I am not satisfied. I pray that as I come to you with my desires, you will give me an even deeper longing, not for marriage, not for anything of this world, but a deeper longing for you. 

I Pray the words of psalm 63;

 You, God, are my God,
    earnestly I seek you;
I thirst for you,
    my whole being longs for you,
in a dry and parched land
    where there is no water.

 I have seen you in the sanctuary
    and beheld your power and your glory.

Because your love is better than life,
    my lips will glorify you.

 I will praise you as long as I live,
    and in your name I will lift up my hands.

 I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods! 

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 on Unsplash